I’ve spent the last two weeks waiting for an email. Not just any email – the email. The one telling me whether or not I needed to drop everything and leave the country. Every morning I got up, read my Bible and checked my email – ok, so some mornings, I checked the email first. Mid-morning, I checked the email. Lunch- I checked the email. Mid- afternoon…you get the picture. But it never came.
Meanwhile, I was trying to balance ministry, work, a mandatory invitation to the jury pool and the re-siding of the house with figuring out what major details (and small) would have to be made before my sudden exodus, if it came to pass.
Finally, the answer came. Not in my inbox, but via a phone call. There is to be no sudden exodus…
It was like my world stopped for just a few seconds; or tried to at least (kind of hard to pull that off right now). Two weeks of planning, of wondering, of thinking things through, of putting things on hold, of not pursuing other projects and opportunities to help others and, suddenly, it all came to nothing.
By no means did this sudden end to the questioning and waiting bring on a fit of boredom. I had a deck to paint, and when it proved to be too hot for the paint I came inside and spent the next several hours editing a book for a client. No, no boredom around here. It did, however, present questions. The primary one being “Lord, what is your purpose in all of this?”
I don’t know the full answer yet. In fact, I really haven’t figured out much more than what I knew when I got off the phone. I’m still waiting for that to come, but I know that the Lord DOES have a purpose in it all. The effects of the last two weeks in my life are too wide-sweeping for there to be no significant purpose. But right now, I’ve realized that the way I respond is probably more important than what the purpose is. I’m pretty sure that with time God will make all things clear, but if I let certain aspects of the last two weeks get under my skin – I’ll still never see those purposes.
The whole scenario sort of derailed life for a while – every aspect of it. So, now the question is “In which order do I set all the cars back on the track?” There are a few that obviously have to go to the front, like getting the siding on the house before it snows. But the others all seem to jumble together and jangle for attention at about the same frequency. They are all important. They all affect a great deal. But as I look through them, I see one thing right at the center of the crowd that has been peeking through at every crack and in every crevice for the last two weeks – Christ.
No matter how much I can’t see the forest for the trees right now, I can still see Him, and He has promised that as long as my mind is stayed on Him, there will be perfect peace. He has promised to guide me with His eye, but I will only see His direction if my eye is on Him.
We never know what a day may bring. Our life is but a vapor, here for a moment then disappearing. But one thing is sure – Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever.