Moving Forward

Posted: April 17, 2016 in Uncategorized

Last week, I sat at my desk in the Forbid Them Not office talking on the phone with a single grandmother. She and her four grandchildren lived in the apartment complex where I work part-time. Due to issues out of her control and of no fault of her own, she was facing an unexpected move. In a short 30 days, she had to find a new home, get it approved for Section 8, and uproot her whole family. As if to add injury to insult, during this time she also fell and fractured her knee. As I talked with her that afternoon, not as the leasing agent for the property, but as part of Forbid Them Not, I was able to share with her that we had not only a few volunteers coming to help but also a horse trailer to help move her things.

“This means so much to me,” she said in her quiet, humble voice.

I didn’t realize just how much it meant until we arrived the next day. This dear lady, we’ll call her Grace because it fits her so well, had no one there to help her but us and three of the grandchildren. Grace had no one to carry furniture. She had only a mini-van to make trips back and forth between the two homes, which are about 8 miles apart. Can you imagine how many trips she would have made?

As we sat around the kitchen, devouring the pizza my pastor brought by for lunch, Grace began asking us questions about what church we go to. The conversation seemed to prick her heart.

“I need to get back in church,” she said. “I used to go all the time, but now I’m not as faithful. I need to get back.”

Later, we were able to pray with her and dedicate her new home to the Lord, asking Him to make it a place of peace. Please pray for this fatherless family, that they will truly come to know God as their Father.

Bits and pieces from the last few weeks:

  • We have officially been recognized by the State of Montana as a nonprofit! Now we simply await federal approval. (BUT we’re waiting in the busy sense!)
  • We held our first Bible Study in the Forbid Them Not Office. It has been going on for several weeks now and has been a huge blessing!
  • We had our first impromptu life skills class in the parking lot: “How To Change A Taillight.” (I failed to check for corrosion, so we had to find someone smarter than me to finish the job.😉 )
  • We were able to assist a single mom and a single Grandma and their children in their moves.
  • Important news: For a couple of years, we’ve been trying to find a way to attach a good email provider to the FTN website. Thanks to the help of a friend of a friend, that issue has been solved! We now have a new system and will be transitioning to that over the next few weeks. The general account will be: info at forbidthemnot dot com.

 

Prayer Requests:

  • Down the road, I would love to hold a very special Mother’s Day event for the women to whom we are ministering. We’re not there yet, so this year I’d like to just start with a special gift for the three moms we’ve had the opportunity to assist over the last month or so. Please pray that the Lord will lead us to just the right gift to encourage and honor them, while pointing them to the Lord. (Suggestions welcome!)
  • For wisdom and direction as we continue through the organizational process.
  • For wisdom in balancing a very heavy schedule. I presently am working two jobs in addition to the ministry at FTN. Please pray that I will have mental clarity as all three are very mentally demanding, and that I will have wisdom to see what must be done and what is not as important.
  • That God will be glorified in all that we do!

2015-12-11 18.05.56

One of my favorite verses is found in Psalm 107: “Oh, that men would praise the Lord for His goodness and for his wonderful works to the children of men.” Sometimes, it is hard to find things that seem “wonderful” in our lives. We see the valley ahead of us, the mountains towering high and the deep, dark shadows they cast around us and we wonder how we will ever come out of that place with anything beautiful. BUT GOD makes all things beautiful in His time.

Earlier this year, I had to write the most difficult ministry letter I had ever written: The letter stating that I did not know when or if “Forbid Them Not” would get back on its feet. I cannot even begin to tell you how dark the valley of those days was. Every time I turned around it seemed we were under attack of some kind in some new way and usually from a source, which we not only thought we could trust but which we had relied upon for help in some way or another.

Wednesday night, as our church family knelt around the platform and prayed together tears came to my eyes. I realized that it will be a year next week since someone (whom I respect and who meant well) looked me pityingly in the eye and said with regard to this ministry, “Sometimes we have to give up the things we love.” Four months later, just a few days before the anniversary of Dad’s home-going someone else sat in the pastor’s study of our church and told me that the ministries of our church, including this one, were not worth fighting for because the church was too small. Both of these men, in their own way, meant what they said for good, but they were forgetting the God Factor!

God is not so small that He cannot overcome the devastation left in the wake of one man’s passing. He is not so small that He cannot restore and redeem the things that are lost or stolen by the actions of others, by wagging tongues, or by injustice. God is not limited by our small vision. He and His might are magnified when we look at our deepest anguish through the lens of His amazing love and wondrous works.

A year ago, I was told to walk away. Six months ago, I was forced to drop everything. BUT GOD has done marvelously. Two months ago, I walked into a missions conference in Utah with no idea of what to expect over the following days. I cannot begin to describe to you the healing balm found in the loving spirit of that church. The tears I wept there were tears of renewed understanding of what love and acceptance really are. Three weeks later, on December 1st, I signed a lease for the FIRST office space for Forbid Them Not because of God’s working through the sacrificial giving of this church.

2015-12-01 17.53.32

The space is small, but it is as much a blessing as a beginning. I have been praying about founding a space for more than two years. I had been praying about this specific spot for at least 8 months. It seemed so far out of reach, but God made it possible. Then I moved in, and the blessing grew. On my first day at the office I discovered that the office is surrounded on all sides by the Tribal Leaders Council. Their director was the first person I met in the building. As we talked he shared with me that they are starting a program working with single mothers of Meth-affected babies. More than once he has expressed an interest in connecting these ladies with the FTN ministry as well. Only God could have orchestrated that!

We are currently in the process of setting FTN up as a 501c(3). Up to this point, I have worked under the umbrella of Grace Baptist Church, my home church. For multiple reasons, none of them being any kind of disagreement or poor relationship with the church, we believe it is time to take this step. It will be a slow process, but God is leading each step of the way. I am so excited to see where HE takes this ministry next!

What a way to start the New Year!

May the Lord richly bless you, your family, and your church as you seek to serve Him in 2016!

Below is the physical address of the FTN as well as our new mailing address. Stop by if you’re ever in the area! (Call first! I’m still working another job. I wouldn’t want to miss you! 406-208-7332.)

Forbid Them Not Office:

711 Central Ave, Suite 207, Billings, MT 59102

Forbid Them Not Mailing Address:

P.O. Box 80993, Billings, MT 59102

 

2015-12-01 15.39.16 2015-12-01 15.39.27

2015-12-03 15.59.25

Someone autographed the desk before shipping!

2015-12-03 16.17.06

2015-12-03 20.43.04 2015-12-05 17.48.26 2015-12-05 17.53.16 2015-12-11 15.35.24

2015-12-17 19.04.33

December 18th we had a time of prayer and dedication for the office. Including the four who joined us on Skype, we had 13 people stop by. What a joy to see God moving!

2015-12-17 19.05.00 2015-12-18 16.07.21 2015-12-18 16.07.30 2015-12-18 16.07.41

Thank you, Lord, for your goodness and for your wonderful works to the children of men!

The last six weeks have been full of change and questions. Each day, I awake with my heart already crying out to the Lord for His direction and for wisdom to know His plan for the future. At times, it seems these days are bringing to a close a journey—a passion and calling—that has been the focus of every waking moment for the past twenty years. It has felt in some moments as if I have faced another death. At other times, I see some small hope that maybe, just maybe, this path has not come to an abrupt end but merely disappeared “into the trees” for a time.

In April, we found out about a sudden and drastic financial change. Due to the amount of time invested in helping the church over the last year, I had already lost nearly all of my own income and was looking for work to tide me over until I could get both my editing service and FTN back on their feet. This new development, however, increases that need by more than $1,000/month.

As you can imagine, the hours required to make up these losses will greatly limit the amount of time I am able to put into direct, daily ministry for the near future. Only the Lord knows the ultimate outcome of this situation, and we must continue to seek Him in every step. While much that I have done in the past may be limited, I hope to be able to continue a few things, like the Green Bean Project and the clothing exchange. The rest, including the local ministry to single moms, is in God’s hands. I believe that work is very needful in Billings, and I believe the Lord was beginning to open doors and give glimpses of what that ministry’s potential really could be, but for now, though it rips at my heart, it must wait.

Please pray with me for God’s wisdom, for provision, and for clear direction. I am so grateful for the last twenty years. God has given me the great joy of serving Him in ways and places that I never would have imagined. I have no regrets, and so much for which to praise Him. What amazing things we have seen Him do! My heart has not changed, if anything my burden for the fatherless, the widow, the stranger, and the poor and needy has increased. Over the last year, I have walked in their shoes in a way I had never walked before. It is my prayer that through all of this, God will open doors that never would have opened before. I know that He has a plan. It may not look like anything I ever imagined, in fact—it might be better.

I hope you will join me here as I wait on the Lord and continue to share what He has been teaching me about His heart for the fatherless. (Blogs may be scarce for a while, but I do have a plan for down the road.:) )

Thank you for your prayer, for your support, and for your involvement. I will continue to seek to find ways to be relevant and to show and share the love of Christ both to the fatherless and to the others God brings along my path. I pray that you will do the same.

I have wanted to write this update for a couple of weeks, but have been waiting for some details to come together so I could give the most accurate information possible.

Over the last few weeks, God has been moving things along rather quickly. We are very excited to say that, Lord willing, we will have an interim pastor arriving later this week. Lebron and Libby Williams of Home and Abroad Baptist Ministries will be traveling this way from Tennessee and plan to spend about three months with us. During which time we will continue diligently searching for a full-time pastor. Please pray for the Williams as they make the trip here and acclimate to Billings. Also, please continue to pray for our pastor search. We believe the Lord is already preparing just the right man for the job.

I also wanted to give an update on the Green Bean Project. Yes, it was supposed to be over at the end of December, but God had other plans. Since my last update, He brought in two more gifts, which nearly doubled what had come in up to that point. So, rather than having to take the local ministry completely out of the mix, I was able to send gifts to each of the overseas ministries and still had some left over for the single moms ministry here in Billings! God is GOOD!

I want to thank all of you who have prayed for us over the last ten months. I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to know people are praying. We know that without those prayers, we would not have made it this far. We also know that we still have a ways to go, and we ask that you continue to pray fervently. I have been greatly refreshed of late by the promise of 1 Thessalonians 5:24: “Faithful is He that calleth you, who also will do it.”

May the Lord bless you as you serve Him!

“O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

 

What would we do without God’s mercy! How grateful I am that His mercies are “new every morning.”

Our church is finally on the verge of beginning our pastor search. We would greatly appreciate your prayer as we seek the man that God has been preparing. Please be praying specifically as relates to “Forbid Them Not,” both locally and internationally, as well as other ministries already established through the church. I have already had more than one pastor tell me, “Sometimes we have to give up the things we love” in regard to our prayer that God would bring a man with a similar burden. This breaks my heart, but I believe the Lord CAN answer that prayer. It is just a matter of letting God bring us together.

The 2014 Green Bean Project has come to a close. Due to the many new responsibilities on my plate, this year’s project was much more difficult to keep moving. We were able to raise about $350 dollars. This is quite a bit short of the amount that I had hoped we could raise, so I have decided to pull the local ministry out of the mix and split the funds between the three ministries we have supported through this project in the past. I will also be adding to it enough to send each ministry $150. If you would like to help with this addition, or would like to give specifically to the local ministry you can do so through the Green Bean Project page of the Forbid Them Not website

Our family had a blessed holiday season. It would be untrue to say that we did not have some very difficult moments, but we were blessed to be together. How grateful we are for the promises of God, in particular, that He never leaves us, nor forsakes us! In July, a friend of mine encouraged me to start a follow-up to the devotional journal that I published in 2013. As I prayed about this, the Lord impressed me to focus the new journal on His promises. I cannot even begin to tell you what an amazing source of strength and comfort those promises were as I began compiling them for the book. It’s my prayer that they will have the same effect on those who use the new journal.

Personally, I would appreciate your prayer for wisdom. Since May, I have inherited the responsibilities of three different people at the church because they have either gone to heaven or their health has made it impossible to carry out the work. Finding balance between what was already in place and the new responsibilities is very difficult. I have been very limited both in the areas of outreach and work. I have tried to keep in my mind that THIS is what God has for now. I greatly need wisdom in this area. Please, pray with me for the Lord’s direction. He has never failed, and since He has promised that He is the same yesterday, today and forever, I know He will not start failing now!

Please be in prayer for a young woman named Tanya and her son Isaiah. I met them just before Thanksgiving. She was calling around asking churches for a ride, so she could pick up her Thanksgiving food box at the local food bank. By the time I got her call, she was very frustrated and felt that everyone was just giving her the run around. When I picked her up that afternoon, she said to me, “You are the only church that was willing to help single moms. Thank you.”

Fifty-four percent of the kids in Billings are growing up in single parent homes. Many of them are living in poverty as a result. It’s easy to say, “Well, you made your bed, now lie in it.” But that is not Christ’s response. When someone says something like Tanya said that day, it helps put into perspective how important this ministry really is. Tanya and I have tried to get together a couple of other times since Thanksgiving, but each time it has fallen through. Please, pray that the Lord will allow this relationship to develop, and that she would come to a full understanding of what Christ has done for her and will come to Him for salvation.

Thank you so much for your prayers! I know many people have been praying for us over the last few months! We need it! Thank you for your faithfulness!

 

When I was a very small girl, Dad and I went on a carnival ride. They called it the Octopus. Maybe you’ve heard about it and its ridiculous tentacles. I was terrified throughout the ride, but the end is most indelibly impressed in my memory. I remember lying on my back as the ride came to a stop. We were at the top, so very, very high up. Gravity pulled us earthward. My small, sweaty hands slid on the metal safety bar. I could feel my back slipping across the fiberglass seat.

“I’m going to fall!” I screamed.

“No, you’re not.” Dad said in his most matter-of-fact voice. “You’re fine.”

“But I’m going to fall!”

“No. You’re strapped in, you won’t fall.”

I felt myself slip a little further. “I’m falling!”

If I hadn’t needed the air to scream, I would have been too afraid to breathe. Why didn’t he believe me? Why didn’t he tell the men we were going to fall and that they needed to fix it? Couldn’t they see us slipping? Couldn’t Dad feel us slipping?

“I’m slipping.”

“You’re going to be okay.”

The chair jerked. We were moving again. Then we stopped, still up in the air, but not so nearly upside down. I stopped slipping. I dared to wipe the sweat from my palms, one hand at a time. I leaned in against my Dad. I was safe.

 

I know no better way to describe this summer. Dad is gone. Anita is gone. Mary is gone. And the rest of us are left, in a sense, like a small child flailing high above the ground, unsure, scared, feeling gravity do its work—ready to get off the ride. But beside us is the ever-present help of the Father, quietly reassuring us, “It’s alright. I’m here. You’re safe.” And there is but one thing to do—lean into the crook of His arm and rest.

Our ride has included four funerals (and those are just the ones since Dad died), mountains of new responsibilities, financial losses, massive house repair projects that are still incomplete; attacks against the church from without and struggles within. I can’t help but ask myself, “When did we start rodeoing, and when are they going to run out of bulls?”

The future is uncertain. Normal seems far, far away. But God has not changed. He never leaves us and never forsakes us. He knows the path we take. He goes before and behind. We often want to know what our new lives will look like, we want to move on, and get back to what “we’re supposed to be doing.” But for now, THIS is what we are supposed to be doing. Waiting. Holding the fort. Remaining faithful. Trusting. Resting. Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

I have no plans of quitting because my Father has no plans of quitting. I don’t know how the future of Forbid Them Not will unfold yet, perhaps you will be a part of it. I do know this—God has promised that when He has called us, He will be faithful to do it. We continue to do the work God has put directly in front of us. The church is carefully regrouping and praying that the Lord will lead us to the right man. We have continued our monthly fellowship nights as an opportunity to invite new people in and encourage believers from other churches, some from churches as many as 60 miles away. Mom is still faithfully ministering in the jail, prison, and prerelease center. She has seen several saved this summer. I have taken on many new responsibilities at the church and am preparing for the fourth annual Green Bean Project and our annual Ladies’ Retreat Day.

I would like to add a fourth and very important ministry to this year’s Green Bean Project. Our local ministry.

For the past three years, I have slowly been putting together the beginnings of a ministry to single moms and their children. I don’t share much about it in my letters or online because these women are often faced with very sensitive and personal challenges. I’ve held various events, provided transportation, and even an opportunity for one woman to earn her rent money. I’ve counseled, encouraged, and just tried to be there. Progress has been slow, but lives have been touched.

A couple of people have approached me about getting involved, and I feel the next few months will be a good time to start gathering the resources to expand this ministry. But, I need your help! Please, pray with me that we would be able to start working with more women, teaching them life skills, teaching them how to be good mothers, helping their children as God has called us to, and—most importantly—winning them to Christ. If you would like to know more about how you or your church can get involved or partner with me in this growing ministry, please let me know! I’m excited to see what God is going to do.

I’m pretty sure our ride isn’t over yet. The Octopus just keeps turning. The bulls keep bucking. Please, pray that we will remain faithful, that we will allow the joy of the Lord to be our strength, and that God will be glorified through all that has, is, and will take place here.

 “According to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:20,21

I once wrote a story in which a farmer and a cowboy sit atop their horses on a butte overlooking the vast Montana landscape. The cowboy is almost certain he’s lost his mind to even consider what he’s about to do. The farmer assures him that if God is leading him into the venture, then God has a purpose and a plan for it.

“You always make it sound so simple,” the cowboy says, “How do you do that?”

The farmer laughs. “My father always used to say, ‘The answer to every problem is simple, so long as it’s someone else’s problem.”

 * * *

Sometimes, life doesn’t seem to offer any simple decisions. Even the ones that should be simple become excruciating when you are making them because you’ve lost the one who normally would have taken care of it—whatever it is.

From outside of the problem, people often feel they know the best answer or solution, and chances are they do have insight that we don’t. They can see a bigger picture. They can see danger spots ahead of us, which are hidden from our view. But, they can’t see the details, and this is where the rub comes.

One of my favorite spots in Yellowstone National Park is Tower Falls. On a hot summer day, stepping up to its base is like walking into an air-conditioned building. As you come down the path, you can see the falls at a distance, and you know that’s where you want to go. You can also see the path winding down the mountain to the river below. All looks well, but there is a problem. A few years ago, a mudslide took out part of the path—a huge part of the path—and it has never been rebuilt. You cannot get to the base of the falls from the path you have taken, but you don’t know that until you reach the point where the path comes to an abrupt end.

From across the river, you would never know that it was an impassable path.

Tower Falls

It’s easy for people to look at a situation and say, “Well, you just need to do this.” Their suggestion may be completely logical—with the exception of that cliff between point A and point B. Others’ suggestions may be emotionally based. Their ties to the situation may cause them to want out as fast as possible, to cling as long as possible, or to simply do nothing until they absolutely have to.

With each decision, especially the major ones, come a multitude of opinions, suggestions, and expectations from every corner of life. Sifting through it all can be exhausting and even overwhelming. The thought of making the wrong choice and potentially destroying your life, your job, your ministry, your friendships, and your family relationships can be paralyzing for some, while it shoves others into “flee or fight” mode.

What do you do? How do you make the right choice? How do you preserve those relationships?

Several Sundays ago, I was feeling the pressures of all the decisions that need to be made, the suggested solutions, and the expectations of others. I felt I had to make a decision then. I felt people were getting tired of waiting on me to “make up my mind.” Even though I knew those people had no clue about the details of the path.

In truth, I was probably putting pressure on myself as much as anyone else—I’m good at that.

I have a favorite place, where I go to get away from the noise of life. It’s usually quiet, and is a very good place to walk, take pictures, pray, sing, and read my Bible. So, that’s where I went that afternoon. The mosquitoes were terrible. I wasn’t able to go to the spot where I normally would have gone, but as I wandered the paths—looking for a spot where I wouldn’t be the main dish—I remembered the story of Job.

Job lost everything except for his miserable wife and pitiful friends. And yet, we see him set up as an example. He was the defining picture of faithfulness in times of suffering. Perhaps it all came down to that one thought, which he voiced to his companions,

He [God] knoweth the way that I take, and when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.”

 

Job wasn’t looking at the ruts, the bumps—the craters—in his path. He was looking at his Guide. He was also looking at the end result.

 

Ruts meme

 

A couple of months before Dad passed away, I began working on a new book, which deals with God’s process of refining us. Little did I know the cutting and purging that was about to take place in my life. The book focuses on God’s process of making up His jewels. So, anything in Scripture that is related to this process instantly grabs hold of me.

As I read through Job, chapter twenty-eight caught my attention. Verse two says, “Iron is taken out of the earth, and brass is molten out of the stone.” It is molten out of the stone. You cannot take the ore out of the rock, or the impurities out of the metal without intense heat.

God is doing the same in our lives in the moments, which seem unbearable. He is asking us to rely on Him, to remember that He knows the path we take. He knows it from beginning to end. He knows the beauty that will come from the ashes.

The dead trees are always most visible when we’re standing on the other side of the valley looking back at the forest. In the midst of the forest, we only see them when we come across them—or stumble into them. This doesn’t make them any less real when we’re in the forest, nor does it make them any less dangerous. It just makes them less visible. The same is true for the washed out path and the view from the other side of the valley. The dangers are all still there, but the view is obstructed by the trees—including the dead ones.

So, how do we balance the decisions, the questions, the opinions, the relatiosnhips, the hopes, and the fears?

It’s a little like that butte in the story at the beginning of this blog. From way up there those men can see everything. They see the farm below them, the prairie spreading into their little town, and the fields and mountains beyond. It’s hard for us to get that kind of view in life—but God has it all the time. Keep His perspective in mind. He knows the way we take. He knows the results of each decision we make.

Those quiet moments near my favorite place gave me an opportunity to seek God without interruption. Did I come away with the answer to every decision? No. But, I did come away with renewed peace and perspective. A perspective that helped me think through things with a much bigger picture in mind.

 

Insights for families adjusting to loss:

  • Don’t let the pressure get to you. Hudson Taylor once said, “It does not matter how great the pressure is. What really matters is where the pressure lies—whether it comes between you and God, or whether it presses you nearer His heart.” Take extra time with the Lord, tell Him your struggles, and leave them at His feet. He is a much more capable problem solver than we are. You will never be able to make a decision that pleases everyone. But, if you let Him guide, you can make decisions that please Him—and that is most important.
  • Remember that the opinions and suggestions offered by others are offered out of love. They want to help. They want you to succeed. As we go through the slow process of making the decisions, we have just as much responsibility to be patient and loving as those making suggestions for the decisions. It isn’t always easy, but it is right and good.
  • Listen to what people are saying, you might see something you hadn’t seen before. Remember they can see the forest and the trees from their perspective, whereas we only see tree trunks, bramble, and the broken paths of disappointed hopes.
  • Consider the cliffs between the points on the path. Are they truly cliffs? Are they emotional barriers? Are they caused by things we need to let go? These are hard questions, and may not be able to be answered alone or quickly, but they should most definitely be answered with a prayerful heart and with continual seeking of the Scriptures. Get God’s perspective on the matter.
  • Keep the end result in mind. God is using this time to shape and mold you. As you let Him work in your life, He will make you into a person that will better reflect His Son and bring glory to Him. He will build a message in your life that will bring comfort and strength to others. Sometimes, that is a very meager consolation. It’s hard to desire that our troubles will bring comfort to someone else, when we so long for comfort ourselves and may not readily find it. Go to the Lord. He will comfort when no one else is at hand. He will give peace. He counts your tears as precious. He keeps them in His bottle. Let Him hold you. Then, when the time comes, you will be able to comfort others with the same comfort He has given you.

 

Insights for Churches:

  • Be patient. I’ve probably said this in every single post, but it is so important. These are life-changing decisions being made by this family or individual. And, they are being made through the fog of grief. Don’t apply undue pressure. And don’t panic or give up when suggestions bring tears, frustration, or even anger. The person experiencing loss is under a tremendous amount of stress and emotional weights such as they may have never before experienced. Extend mercy.
  • Find out the facts. From your position, the decision may be clear. It may be difficult to understand why the family hesitates. Ask. There may be barriers you can’t see—emotional struggles, spiritual struggles, physical exhaustion. Things that are not obvious to the casual observer may be holding the decision back. Finances, a lack of professional skills, a lack of experience, or a lack of confidence may be slowing the process down. Discover the barriers, and help the family walk through them.

 

Insights for Individuals:

  • Don’t get in a hurry. Decisions that seem vastly important today have usually been forgotten a year from now. Pray for your friends. Ask the Lord to guide them and to give them wisdom for the decisions they are making. Sit down with them and let them talk through the situation. Ask pertinent questions—Questions that have to be answered with more than a “yes” or a “no.” Help them get to the roots of the issue.
  • Be understanding. The more you know about the situation the better you can understand where they are coming from. Remember that what looks like a simple decision to you may actually be destroying all the hopes and dreams they have worked toward for years, if not a lifetime. It may involve an enormous amount of emotional pain. It may feel like another death. Some will try to cling to anything that makes them feel close to their father/husband, others willingly let things go because the memories cause pain…Walk in their shoes—you might find they rub.

 

Have you walked this road? What was the most difficult aspect of the decision-making process for you? What was the greatest blessing? I hope you’ll add your insights and thoughts in the comments below.

Has this blog (or any of the blogs in this series) meant something to you? Please share with others. You might help someone else without even knowing it.